We Interrupt Your Regular Programming...

I've been doing some thinking...

About change.

About how I need to work on some things myself (and, really, I'm putting myself out there, blog readers, because sometimes it's good for others to know "stuff" about you):

• My tendency to be negative.
• My inability to let go of grudges and hurt and anger from things that happened two years ago.
• The way I eat and dress (i.e. more local, fair trade).
• My tendency to be sharp-tongued.
• The way I sometimes avoid people just because I don't feel like talking for whatever reason.
• The fact that I'm very selfish.
• The fact that I live the way that I do even though I know millions are suffering all over the world.
• The fact that I am sometimes not a very good wife. At all.
• The fact that I can have a crazy temper at times.
• The fact that I can go a whole day (sometimes much longer) without living like Jesus. At all.
• The fact that I don't REALLY love people, I just brag to others that I do.

Okay. I told you all I was doing some thinking. And, really, I don't want to put all that out there because I want to tear myself down or because I want people to tell me that I'm not really that way. Because I am. Really. So, like I said, I've been doing some thinking about changing.

But, equally as important as looking introspectively, I have been thinking about how I'm supposed to change this world I am in. I know that I want to change the world, but how do I even begin? I mean, there are thousands of people dying each day from disease and starvation and lack of clean water. How do I tell myself that I know that fact (so that makes me better than those who are ignorant or "uncaring") while I'm taking a ten minute, hot shower? Or going out to eat and stuffing myself with food? Really?

How do I reconcile the fact that I'm wearing clothes that a little, precious, 8-year-old (or younger) child probably made for less than eight cents an hour just because they were "cute" or were on sale?

How do I take my morning walk with a dear friend and see a huge, amazing house right next to a rundown, unkempt house, and judge the owner of the beautiful house, knowing that I don't even care about my next-door neighbors? How do I live on a daily basis knowing that people in my own town don't know where their next meal is going to come from or where they're going to sleep that night?

How do I deal with all these things and so much more? I can't just sit by and take every day for granted any more. Nope. I have got to do something.

So, to start, I'm going to really throw my whole being into loving people. Truly, honestly loving people. Trying to make their lives better. Even if it's just a smile and a compliment. Just something to show them that I love them.

I mean, that's just one thing. But I've got to start being that change, and honestly loving someone is the best way I know to start. I have a pretty good feeling that the rest will come.

So, while I completely understand that this will not solve the world water crisis or end child labor or even stop the problems in my own town, I know I have to start somewhere.

Won't you join me?